Peering Your Peers

Peering Your Peers

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I was born Part II

January 12, 2012

So finally, despite the limitations placed on her because of her child the mother has managed to meet someone that loves her and accepts her, child and all.  She is ecstatic. It has been 4 years since that life altering 12hours in the delivery room.

She dreams of the perfect family and does her utmost to be the perfect girlfriend and homemaker.  She ends up pregnant again, her boyfriend proposes and she accepts.  Finally she will have her own family.  Her dreams are coming true.

She has the second child before the wedding but finds herself immediately pregnant with her third child.  She is not able to afford a wedding dress, besides her belly is to big for a wedding dress to look flattering.  Despite the emotional rollercoaster that goes hand in hand with pregnancy, she holds it together and marries the father of her second child and the third child that she still carries.  Her first child sits in the pews and watches wide eyed.  Weddings are interesting things to 5yr olds.

For a while after the wedding everything goes smoothly.  There is a little extra money because of her husbands job and things are starting to look up, (depending on how the hormones are acting that day).  Her first son is now in school and him being gone all day allows her time to do what needs to be done at home.  She is proud of her ability to be a good homemaker.

Her husbands’ job is wearing on him though.  He is growing more and more agitated every day that he comes home from work.  She does not want to lose him.  She had a hard time raising one child alone and now she had 3 and a fourth one on the way.  She takes a position of servitude to him and does whatever is necessary to ensure that he does not leave her.

Her husbands’ parents leave for their annual winter vacation and so her and her husband pack up the kids and move into his parents house for the next few months.  It is a relief to get out of their cramped apartment and let the children run and enjoy the space.

Being back at home though seems to be a trigger for her husband and his agitation turns into a temper.  Maybe it was the children, she thinks, he is worried they will ruin his parents house.  She does her utmost to keep the children out of mischief.

She hears him yelling at her oldest child.  Well nothing new there, that child was so curious about everything, he often ‘accidently’ broke things that he should not have ben touching.  He also had a bad habit of lying about what he had done in a feeble 7yr old way.  She continued ironing and folding clothes.  A chore that never seemed to end.

She looked up to see him storming into the basement her sons feet dangling above the floor and her husband carrying him by the ear.  She stopped ironing and watched as her husband threw her son over the back of the couch, pulled down her son’s pants as he pulled off his belt.  He then proceeded with disciplining the child (that had lied about playing with the shaving cream in the bathroom).  She could not watch, her child’s screams were too much so she turned the ironing board so her back was to her child and she continued ironing.  She would ask after her husbands’ temper cooled off why he had just hit her son with a belt.

Regardless of his answer though she knew that she would not do anything.  The child needed some discipline.  She had never been a rule enforcer and he was getting to an age where his disobedience was starting to be a danger to himself and his siblings.  Besides she could not stand up to her husband, he might leave her.

NOTE:  This is starting to get a little difficult for me to write. Truth is my life starts to get a little hazy after this point and I would like to stick with the facts.  Truth is I dont remember much beyond this point in my life.  It is almost like my mind has tried to remove the memories.  I remember the emotions I felt after that but not the physical reasons for those emotions.

As I continue my recovery I find that my memory is returning so I will return to this story at a later point in time when I am strong enough that my mind will allow me to remember.

P.S. The brain is a wonderful thing.

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