Peering Your Peers

Peering Your Peers

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I was born Part I

January 11, 2012

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Have you ever heard the saying “I wish you were never born”?

It is such a profound statement, filled with such strong emotions.  They say the tongue is sharper than a two edged sword and it is true.

Now what if someone close to you said if to you directly or indirectly?  Stands to reason that the closer the person is to you that said something like that, the more it is going to hurt and the longer the hurt is going to last.

What if you were born to someone that did not want you.

Imagine this.

A 17yr old girl becomes pregnant.  The baby’s father does not stick around.  Abortion is not an option to her because of her own religious beliefs.  Putting a child up for adoption would make the family upset.  Admitting you do not want a child is met with the response, “you made your bed now lie in it”.  She is at an impass.

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So she has the child.  She now finds herself alone with a child she did not want.  She finds her social life parked at the curb for the first few years of the child’s life in fact this whole time her friends are out having fun, calling once in a while though and tell her about all the fun she is missing out on.  She turns 18 and instead of going to the bar and having her first legal drink and celebrating, she is stuck at home nursing a baby.  Not only is the baby sucking all the milk out of her but he is also sucking the life out of her.

Simple routines end up not so simple.  Using the toilet is not the same idea anymore.  Sometimes she thinks that she may as well just stand out in a park and pretend to be a set of monkey bars.  People around her are more interested in the child then they are her.  She feels like she has been cursed to play second fiddle for the rest of her life.

She takes a break whenever she can get it.  She allows her child to bounce from babysitter to babysitter so she can have some resemblance of a life.  It does not matter that the person watching her child is the the same person that molested her not all that long ago.

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She has learnt that most people feel compassion for her and her situation and she learns to use it as a tool to get what she needs or wants.  She is so concerned with her own self and her own problems she does not see the danger the child is in.  She thinks nothing of it when someone offers her money and tells her to “just leave the child here”.  Turning a deaf ear as the child cries out for her, not wanting to be left with yet another stranger, (stranger to the child not necessarily the mother), she turns and walks out the door, blissfully ignorant of what she just did.

Eventually she ends up meeting someone.  She is exstatic, she now has someone there just for her.  Her child seems to be okay with him and she has visions of being a perfect, happy family.

NOTE:  I am going to stop here for this first part.  I will hopefully have the next part posted in the next day or two.

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