Peering Your Peers

Peering Your Peers

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I am a Daddy.. :)

October 26, 2011 , ,

So I am sitting here and it hits me…I’M GONNA BE A
DAD!!!!…WOOOOHOOOOO!!!…Break out the champagne and noisemakers!!!!

Then I calm down and say to myself, “okay, your kids were
born years ago you are just standing up to the plate”…  Then I get the Walt Disney version of “Casey
comes to bat” running through my head complete with soundtrack. (Amazing the
obscure things your mind latches onto and never forgets).

I mention to one of my supports about my desire to return to
school and get a degree.  I have the best
supports, they are not afraid of popping my bubbles and making me face
reality.   As my support turned her head
and looked at me credulously for a moment my heart sunk.  Sure enough she smiles sweetly, sits down and
asks what my plans are.  I eagerly oblige
her and lay some basic roadwork for the next 6 years, complete with plans for
funding, all necessities being covered both for myself and for my children,
extracurricular activities that I am going to get my children involved in, the
volunteer work I am going to continue doing, etc.  She sits there and counts every goal on her
fingers and makes it to 9.

Then it clues in…I may be pushing myself a little too
far…Are my plans to success going to push me into failure?  In my eagerness to achieve my goals am I
working beyond my capabilities?  It is
great to have goals and dreams.  Now I
have to learn to differentiate between the two and place priorities with
obtainable goals and not just wistful dreams.
Reality is sometimes a hard pill to swallow.  After this conversation with her I felt kind
of down for the next few days.  I
acknowledge that I have a tendency to fall into deep depressions so I had to
act.  I wrote down a list of things that
I currently do and a list of what I want to do.
Then, mentally, I gave each ‘thing’ ratings based on use of time,
efficiency, personal satisfaction and personal desire.

I was surprised at what I found out.  The majority of the stuff I do now, although
it keeps me busy and is an efficient use of my time, gives me little to no
satisfaction and I really do not have the desire to continue on with it.  So I picked out the few things that do leave
me feeling satisfied and a few others that I have the desire to continue on
with.  From a list that filled a page I
chose 7 things to keep doing.  I looked
at my list of things I want to do and rated them the same way.  I took one thing from that list to keep and
the rest will have to wait until future opportunities.

So I now have a list with 8 things on my list.  My immediate goals and plans for the next
year have been set.  Number one on the
list is ‘Be a Dad’ with everything else following.  Then I realized that being a dad involves a
lot more than those three words let on.
I had to make some changes to that list again.  So now it reads like this.

  1. Be a Dad to my children
  2. Be a Teacher to my children
  3. Be a Mother to my children
  4. Be a Nurse to my children
  5. Be a Friend to my children
  6. Be a Role Model to my children
  7. Be a Chauffer to my children
  8. Be a Banker for my children
  9. Be a Rescuer for my children
  10. Be a Confidante to my children
  11. Be whatever else I need to be for my children

Everything else from my list has now been pushed aside.  I will still continue with various volunteer
activities during the day while my children are at school and I will have ‘me
time’ every second weekend while the children are with their mother.  The rest will fill itself in.

I am happy I am a Dad……

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