I am a Daddy.. :)
So I am sitting here and it hits me…I’M GONNA BE A
DAD!!!!…WOOOOHOOOOO!!!…Break out the champagne and noisemakers!!!!
Then I calm down and say to myself, “okay, your kids were
born years ago you are just standing up to the plate”… Then I get the Walt Disney version of “Casey
comes to bat” running through my head complete with soundtrack. (Amazing the
obscure things your mind latches onto and never forgets).
I mention to one of my supports about my desire to return to
school and get a degree. I have the best
supports, they are not afraid of popping my bubbles and making me face
reality. As my support turned her head
and looked at me credulously for a moment my heart sunk. Sure enough she smiles sweetly, sits down and
asks what my plans are. I eagerly oblige
her and lay some basic roadwork for the next 6 years, complete with plans for
funding, all necessities being covered both for myself and for my children,
extracurricular activities that I am going to get my children involved in, the
volunteer work I am going to continue doing, etc. She sits there and counts every goal on her
fingers and makes it to 9.
Then it clues in…I may be pushing myself a little too
far…Are my plans to success going to push me into failure? In my eagerness to achieve my goals am I
working beyond my capabilities? It is
great to have goals and dreams. Now I
have to learn to differentiate between the two and place priorities with
obtainable goals and not just wistful dreams.
Reality is sometimes a hard pill to swallow. After this conversation with her I felt kind
of down for the next few days. I
acknowledge that I have a tendency to fall into deep depressions so I had to
act. I wrote down a list of things that
I currently do and a list of what I want to do.
Then, mentally, I gave each ‘thing’ ratings based on use of time,
efficiency, personal satisfaction and personal desire.
I was surprised at what I found out. The majority of the stuff I do now, although
it keeps me busy and is an efficient use of my time, gives me little to no
satisfaction and I really do not have the desire to continue on with it. So I picked out the few things that do leave
me feeling satisfied and a few others that I have the desire to continue on
with. From a list that filled a page I
chose 7 things to keep doing. I looked
at my list of things I want to do and rated them the same way. I took one thing from that list to keep and
the rest will have to wait until future opportunities.
So I now have a list with 8 things on my list. My immediate goals and plans for the next
year have been set. Number one on the
list is ‘Be a Dad’ with everything else following. Then I realized that being a dad involves a
lot more than those three words let on.
I had to make some changes to that list again. So now it reads like this.
- Be a Dad to my children
- Be a Teacher to my children
- Be a Mother to my children
- Be a Nurse to my children
- Be a Friend to my children
- Be a Role Model to my children
- Be a Chauffer to my children
- Be a Banker for my children
- Be a Rescuer for my children
- Be a Confidante to my children
- Be whatever else I need to be for my children
Everything else from my list has now been pushed aside. I will still continue with various volunteer
activities during the day while my children are at school and I will have ‘me
time’ every second weekend while the children are with their mother. The rest will fill itself in.
I am happy I am a Dad……